Peace to all brothers and sisters.
Today I would like to share a testimony about the growth of my spiritual life.
As some of you may know, not long after I first encountered the Christian faith, I quickly became involved in serving, especially in evangelism. After experiencing change in my own life, I increasingly realised that the gospel is essential to every person. Once I truly knew the Lord Jesus Christ, I felt a strong urgency to share this wonderful gospel. I longed for more people still held in darkness to know Jesus Christ and receive new life in Him.
By God’s grace, when I first began sharing the gospel, He prepared many people whose hearts were receptive. Some were in their fifties and others were university students. They came from different backgrounds, had different life experiences and faced different circumstances. At first I felt nervous. Many of their questions came from experiences I had never faced. I wondered whether I could truly understand them and explain the gospel clearly. Yet God continually gave me wisdom and strength. He taught me to understand people who were different from me and to share the gospel with them. Things went remarkably smoothly at first: within about six months, six of the people with whom I shared the gospel decided to follow Christ.
This greatly increased my confidence, but as my confidence grew, pride also began to take root in me. I started to think that I was good at evangelism, that I understood people well and that I could solve the problems in their lives. When pride begins to grow, however, God often gives us a lesson we need to learn. At that time, He brought a brother into my life whom I had met through the university fellowship. While we were leading the fellowship, Sister Zhang Min told me about his situation. I was so confident that I said directly, “Do not worry. Leave him to me.” Looking back, I can see that my confidence was not grounded in God but in myself. I was trusting my own ability rather than God’s power.
I began sharing the gospel with him, still carrying my former confidence. I thought that if I worked hard enough and explained the gospel clearly enough, there would surely be a result. I persisted for two months, and I thank God that this brother genuinely wanted to understand. On one occasion we talked from nine at night until five the next morning. My mouth was dry, and I had used every approach I knew. I explained everything I could and shared every testimony I could think of, but he still could not believe.
Through this process, my confidence in myself became smaller and smaller. I had once thought that if I worked harder, spoke better or became more capable, I could help someone believe. Now I began to understand that people cannot change people; only God can change a person.
I began to recognise how small I was. I could not open a person’s heart or change a life. All I could do was faithfully proclaim the gospel. Only God could truly open someone’s heart. So I returned to the Lord Jesus Christ. Instead of relying only on my own ability, I began to pray and ask the Lord Himself to open this brother’s heart.
One evening, as he sat on the sofa listening to me, he suddenly said, “Bridge, I am willing to believe. I am willing to do it.” I was deeply moved. I replied, “Yes! What matters is a willing heart—just like saying ‘I do’ at a wedding. What truly matters is that your heart is willing to respond to God.”
After that experience, I began to understand phrases I had often heard, such as “Serving is a blessing” and “Serving means depending on God.” I had heard these words many times and had even said them myself. But hearing something is not the same as experiencing it. I might speak well about a truth without that truth having truly entered my life.
I once thought the greatest reward of serving was the peace and joy in my heart. These are certainly gifts of God’s grace. But I gradually came to understand that as I offer myself to be His instrument and seek to build others up, the greatest gain is that God builds me up.
I thought I was helping others, but often God was changing me first. I thought I was serving others, but through serving God continually shaped me. He also showed me that service without dependence on Him becomes an endless pile of stones and an impenetrable tangle of thorns.
Looking back today, I am deeply grateful to God. I thank Him for teaching me when I became proud. I still have much to learn and many weaknesses. I ask Him to guard my heart and to keep drawing me into honest wrestling with Him, because it is often in that struggle that I truly come to know myself and to know Him more deeply.
May God continue to change me so that I may better reflect the Lord Jesus Christ. Whether in service or in daily life, may my whole life bring greater glory to His name. Amen.
